How to Respect Men and Understand Woman

With over 40 years as a human behaviour expert, hypnotist, NLP practitioner and Mentalist, Scott McFall has helped thousands of people create great change and go after their dreams. The founder of the McFall method and Master Hypnotist Society, he has mentored many people including my mentor Tree Ryde. Every May Scott flys in from sunny Flordia to spend 4 days with us Canadians.

For the past two years ive been Scotts guinea pig for the same damn exercise. He grabs my arm and tells me to try and escape. For context, Scott is a 6 foot tall, 200 pound man in his 60s. I am a 5’2 petite female and sometimes I forget this fact, thinking I’m much bigger and stronger and can take any man. Well news flash, I’m always proven wrong.

Here’s what he was trying to teach me and all the woman in my position. First, WOMAN AND MEN ARE EQUAL, NOT THE SAME. Put simple, Woman have a cycle with ups and downs and men are even steven, we all know this.  Yet here is a new way to look at this and how we teach it to clients.

I’d usually get a man  to stand tall (like a tree) and as a women start pushing him around (being the wind). If he is weak, he’d start falling over, but if he stands strong, I can still push and nothing happens. When woman find a mate, she creates an unconscious strategy (test) to see if he is strong enough to handle the possibility of what’s to come (children, family, myself). The unconscious question: “will this man keep me and my future offspring’s safe?” When we were cave men and cavewomen, we wanted to strongest, and/or best hunter as a mate securing our future. If the man passes the test, she stays, if he doesn’t, she loses his respect and starts creating an exit strategy.

While we live in 2026 and a lot has changed but our biology hasn’t caught up. With a high divorce rate in today’s world, we can see the exit strategy everywhere. It even goes beyond romantic relationships, from careers to social groups. When we don’t feel safe we find reasons to leave through resentment, frustration, or overwhelm. Examples of exit strategies are we may triangulate (gossip) with other people, trying to get them to see our side or get opinions from possible untrusted sources. Others may just make excuses until one day they just get fed up and leave.

So how do we solve the problem? Great question!  Some of you may not like the answer. For some woman, we need to know when we have taken the test too far. Where we are pushing the boundaries to the point where anyone is doomed to fail. Some woman do this to prove they are unlovable due to a belief misalignment. Others want to be free and subconsciously have a fear of being tied down by sabotaging too quickly.

Step 2: we need to start respecting men. I know I can hear the man haters with their pitch forks and knives and yes even I groaned (at first). Men’s function in society is simple: provide and protect. Also when men fall in love, they fully give their hearts to their woman and as woman we hold the power, therefore it is important empathetically respect this. As a woman, the best thing is to allow men to fully step into that role of providing and protecting. Now before someone comes after me, I’m not saying we should go back to the 1950s house wife era.

Here is an example of what I mean. I was told a story about Scott and his wife Heather years ago how Heather would panic every time she saw a spider in their house. She’d yell for Scott to kill it. Scott would stop whatever he was doing and kill the spider and Heather would make him feel like the hero. Now Heather has no fear of spider, she’s also a hypnotist but she knows how to play the game and she does it well.

Step 3: When in a romantic relationship, there needs to be a united front. A relationship is about 2 people coming together. Not you, your partner and their or your mom. It’s very common to bring a family member or friend into the fold of your relationship. Complaining, blaming and over analyzing a partners behaviors with someone else is not solving the problem. If anything, its creating more of it. Instilling healthy boundaries with friends and family and communicating with partner is key.  Finding a trusted mentor that ideally isn’t a family member who is in a healthy relation that you can model can also be a great option.

Step 3: This is to all the men; woman are not crazy (most of us at least)! This is what woman are meant to do. Once a month, for eternity. If you’re moaning, stop it.  Still moaning, here are your options, stay single, bat for the blue team, become a monk or priest. Follow your heart and hope you land on someone who really respects it.

Biggest take away, no one is smart in love. Its messy. Even as I was trying to get away from Scott both times, I end up laughing because its FUN! So how can you learn to love the dance of love?